How Trauma Bonding Hijacks Your Mind and Nervous System

Have you ever found yourself stuck in toxic relationships, like having chains around you?

Image credit - DALL.E AI Open Source

Hi Everyone,

I bet you thought I’d vanished off the face of the earth. Nope, I’m still here, but it's been a while since I last posted, due to various factors. Life gets in the way, as they say! Rest assured that I haven’t stopped writing or reflecting - far from it. Today, I would like to share a carefully compiled selection of insights from my Medium stories on trauma bonding, gaslighting, cognitive dissonance, and the nervous system — core themes in emotional healing and self-awareness. Both through personal experience and researching the literature, I’ve found that trauma bonding isn’t black and white. It’s shaped by overlapping psychological dynamics that work together to create and reinforce unhealthy emotional bonds.

Even when you know relationships are hurtful and destructive, you still stay. Why is that? This is a psychological trap to keep you in confusion and fear, doubting yourself. Gaslighting and Cognitive Dissonance are high contenders in the Trauma Bonding Game – without those tactics, control weakens over the abused person. Abusers are skilled at manipulation, coercion, deceit, and have no problem gaslighting – hence creating cognitive dissonance.

You know something is wrong, and have opposing beliefs, but by the time you think of leaving, it’s too late and you’re knee deep in trauma bonding. You stay because you don’t think there is any other option. Often, people make life commitments that are trauma-bonded, for fear of rejection, or going against others’ wishes and society’s expectations.

Did you know that the vagal nerve, in the nervous system, registers and regulates emotions, stress, and threats to safety?. There are three responses the nervous system evokes to stress and trauma:

The Ventral Vagal (Calm and Safe)

• The Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight or Flight)

• The Dorsal Vagal (Shutdown, Freezing, Disconnection, Numbness)

Dr Stephen Porges developed the Polyvagal Theory.

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I’ve written the following six stories on Medium about Trauma Bonding, Gaslighting, Cognitive Dissonance, and the Nervous System.

I hope you enjoy some of my curated stories on Medium - the links are below.

🔗 Trauma Bonds: The 7 Subtle Stages That Keep You Stuck — and Breaking Free

🔗 When Emotional Connections Turn Toxic: How to Become Unstuck (Nervous System & Polyvagal)

🔗 Emotional Patterns That Hijack Our Nervous System (Trauma & Polyvagal)

🔗 Spotlight on Trauma-Informed Therapy and the Polyvagal Approach to PTSD

🔗 The Startling Immorality of Gaslighting and Lying (Coercive Control)

🔗 Understanding Social Comparison Theory and How It Creates Cognitive Dissonance

I’ve also curated my stories on Trauma Bonding, Gaslighting, Social Comparison Theory, and the Polyvagal Nervous System into this explanatory narrative:

6 Insightful Stories for Reflection: Trauma Bonding and the Nervous System — Recovery and Healing

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I’ve also read two stories by Dr Mehmet Yildiz about the Nervous System and HPA Axis improvement to deal with trauma bonding.

Here’s How to Make the Nervous System More Flexible and Functional

3 Steps to Regulate the HPA Axis and Defeat Chronic Stress

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✨☕ If you enjoy reading my stories, consider supporting me by buying me a coffee. I am here on Ko-Fi. Every bit of encouragement helps nurture my creative endeavors. ☕😊

🤝 Connect on Medium and Substack 🤝

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#TraumaBonding #EmotionalAbuse #Gaslighting #CognitiveDissonance #NervousSystem #PolyvagalTheory #HealingJourney #MentalHealthAwareness