The Paradox of Parasocial Behaviour and Empowerment Online
This week I explore the nuances of parasocial relationships and how it can both inhibit and empower us. Discernment is key
The Dilemma of Parasocial Relationships Online
In my free weekly newsletter, today I explore the topic of parasocial relationships — those one-sided connections we form online and even with our fellow writers. Paradoxically, these relationships can also be empowering for many, if discernment is used. Although the term ‘parasocial’ may be relatively new, the meaning is as old as evolution itself. We humans are hardwired for social connection and bonding, whether those we connect with are physically present or not. In my latest article, More Than Followers, Less Than Friends: Understanding Parasocial Relationships in the Digital Age, I discuss how the lines between reality and illusion can become blurred in digital spaces.
The Double-Edged Sword of Illusion vs. Authenticity
Forming online connections can be a double-edged sword. What may appear to be authentic and close relationships, may be no more than an illusion, due to how the parasocial effect works. That doesn’t mean that all online relationships are inauthentic and that’s where discernment comes in. Many people rely on digital spaces for connection, and for some, especially those who are geographically isolated, live with a disability, or struggle to find like-minded people in their immediate environment, online spaces can be incredibly enriching. Such spaces provide support, inspiration, and a profound sense of belonging. Digital spaces can be empowering when connections enhance one’s life. The key is knowing how to discern between non-authentic and authentic connections and understanding the parasocial effect.
Empowering Writers in the Digital Age
Writing has helped me process trauma in my life, particularly relating to being adopted. That sense of disconnection is very real and can trigger trauma. Previously I would cave in to emotional pressure, blaming myself and trying to be what others wanted. This created a lot of negativity in my life, often unconscious, and the formation of unhealthy trauma bonds.
Confronting these issues head-on and writing about them has empowered me to create safe and healthy boundaries, and distance myself from toxic relationships. These boundaries are supportive of my mental health and growth. They help me process trauma in a way I’ve never done before. Through writing, I’ve gained insights that I had never had before, and I realize how fortunate I am to have the ability to write and heal myself.
People Are People
At the end of the day, people are people - both online and offline. Just as we encounter difficult people offline, we also do so online. Similar to real life, we encounter varying degrees of alignment to our true values, and the same applies online. Navigating a balance is an adaptive response - appreciating the positive aspects of our digital worlds while recognizing the pitfalls and limitations. This is why discernment is crucial.
Discernment Is Key
For those who rely on digital spaces for connection, the key is discernment. Nurturing mutually supportive and fulfilling relationships, while letting go of those that are deceptive and drain our energy. Although online communities can be powerful spaces for learning, growth, and support - as with any form of interaction or connection - awareness and authenticity matter.
What Do You Think?
I’d love to know your thoughts!👇
How do you navigate online relationships?
Do you think parasocial dynamics influence the online writing community, and that discernment is needed?
How have digital spaces empowered and enriched you as a writer? Have they been challenging, or both?
Next Up?
In the next free newsletter, I will be exploring the power of trauma bonds and why they are so difficult to break, sharing personal experiences.
Until then, take care, and thank you for reading!
✨☕ I am also on Ko-Fi here. Every bit of encouragement helps fuel my creativity. ✨☕
Thank you for being part of this exciting journey!
You articulated the challenges of the online world for relationship building. Your points deeply resonate with me as I have been dealing with it since its inception. As you say discernment is key. I look forward to your next release about trauma bonds, which is another topic close to my heart.